I've begun going to church again, as my godson's Confirmation is coming up, and I need to be a Catholic in good standing in order to take part. But until then there are little rewards for going to church, such as hearing the first reading today as follows:
So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill.
So far, so good. But then:
As long as Moses held up his pants, the Israelites were winning,
What?
but whenever he lowered his pants, the Amalekites were winning.
It wasn't until I heard the following sentence ("Aaron and Hur held his pants up—one on one side, one on the other") that I realized it wasn't Moses' pants, but his hands. Completely changes the meaning of the passage.
I once asked my friend Bob which he would chose: deafness or blindness. He immediately picked deafness, not only because he is an artist, but also because loss of hearing would spare him all the annoying noises of the city. I also chose deafness: not just because the deaf have a tight-knit, insular community, but because, as today's reading shows, I would then live in a wonderfully surreal and silly world.
4 comments:
Well, seeing as how I'm churchaphobic, I don't get to hear such unintentionally lurid-sounding sermons.
We did once attend a Catholic wedding, though, where the priest went on a little too long about the bride's (or was it the groom's?) alabaster thighs. And no, we didn't hear that wrong. Oh, priests, when will you ever learn?
Alabaster thighs? I guess they (like me) don't wear shorts that often...
hmm, I think you already live in that "wonderfully surreal and silly world" john.
colette
Ive been living in that surreal world for quite a while now (ask Tom or the boys about the "magic Beans" story). I have to say that while I find it very amusing at times, the people closest to me tend to lose patience when I say "What?" and then start to giggle "oh, I thought you said...".
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