Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Two Unsolicited Comments On My Appearance From Tonight:

From a pizza place on St. Mark's Place:
Girl 1: Are you in a movie?

Me: (looking around for a camera and film crew): Not right now. Not as far as I know.

Girl 1: You look like you're in a movie.

Girl 2: He looks like he made a movie. Did you make a movie?

At Grassroots, my favorite dive bar ever:
Me: Yeah, I never subscribed to Netflix. I always have enough on my dvr and I just borrow movies from the library.

Dave: Well, it's only $9 a month.
(looks at me wearing the nice shirt I wore to work this morning*)
You look like you can afford it.

Me (inside, within my soul): Ugh.

*It should be pointed out that the shirt I wore to work this morning makes me look like a British football ("soccer" in America) star. It was shiny and baby blue and the top button never buttons so neckties are impossible. It's the shirt soccer players always seem to wear when they're caught in a scandal. Ugh.


J. Goodman said...

Remember this one: "Shouldn't you be in the line for Bret Easton Ellis?"

the hanged man said...

Ah, good old Harlan Ellison. Actually, it was "look at this guy. He looks like something from a Bret Easton Ellis novel."

This was before American Psycho was published, which would have changed the meaning of his comment completely.