After having had the revelation I wrote about on Day Thirty, I was left with a feeling of "now what?" Sink into despair? Plunge into decadence? Oddly enough, backa**ward person that I am*, the idea that there may be no God made me want to be a better person. Walking around I would watch people, thinking of them, of us, as being equally doomed. All their concerns and little struggles aren't getting them anywhere in this world or the next. A curious thing happened: contemplating this fragile life, watching how busy everyone seemed, making time until they end up in a grave, I could feel a lightness, a warmth within. Seeing existence this way made me happier, more content than sitting in a church ever did. I was filled with a compassion for all living creatures that the best sermons could not install in me. I was edging towards bliss.
The entire experience struck me as funny. Rejecting spirituality and focusing only on the material world, I could feel my soul soar. The sensation didn't last. Like Icarus we do have to eventually come back down to earth. But it was enough.
Today's reading from the Faithful Words Promise Box:
What things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.
- Phil. 3:7
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*It's no accident that this site is named after someone who's upside down.
2 comments:
For someone who gave up cursing for Lent, you sure do use a lot of asterisks.
Kiss my a**
(just kidding. I couldn't resist)
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