Sunday, March 22, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Twenty Six

Powerful Fresh Breath / Powerful Message



Another gift from my friend Kris - a pack of Testamints Gum. Each pack has 12 pieces (one for each apostle), although Kris admitted that this pack was a little light because her husband took some.

Each pack come with a quote from scripture on the back - mine is John 14:6 (Jesus answered "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.")

Kris said "You'd be amazed what you can find in Texas." True, however, a quick internet search revealed that the company that makes Testamints is actually based in Hackettstown, NJ.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Twenty Five

A Gift From My Friend Kris


"You still collect stuff like this, right?" asked my friend Kris.

A Last Supper lunchbox? Oh, yes indeedy.

Friday, March 20, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Twenty Four

Prayer Circle in Louisville Airport

I wasn't quick enough with my camera, but this is the aftermath of a prayer circle I saw in the middle of the Louisville airport. I guess some people are really scared of flying.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

40 days of Lent: day Twenty Three

Began writing this in airport bar, bit got into conversation with Tommy, a building comtractor whose wife was taking a flight from elsewhere in the airport.
It was one of those pleasant converations that makes me feel less alone. In the course of talking, I was able to make eference to a friend from high school's wedding, current misadventures pf a girl I work with, and something my sister once said.
I have to get on a plane, which I never like, but I feel less alone. And buzzed. I feel buzzed.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Twenty-Two

Setting Sail Tomorrow



I'll be traveling to Louisville, KY tomorrow to visit some friends for a long weekend. I'll try to updated The Hanged Man each day, utilizing my snazzy new iPhone to do so. But given that I just got the phone yesterday and haven't really had time to learn how to use it, I can't promise anything. If I can't post while on the road, I will make up the missing days when I return.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

40 Days Of Lent: Day Twenty One

Lousy Irishman

I hate St. Patty's Day.

I like Irish culture and I'm proud of (some might say smug about) my Irish ancestry. But I dislike the kitsch aspects of St. Patty's Day and the fact that it is another holiday (along with New Year's Eve and Halloween) in which people feel it is their duty to get as drunk as possible. There's nothing like seeing a pack of drunken New York City cops, in uniform and with guns.

Even as a child I don't recall liking the holiday. I was not a fan of anything that dictated how you should dress, so being expected to wear some green on a certain day was a hassle. Similarly, I recall when my grade school, Mackin Elementary, decided to have "Color Day" which meant that the students were supposed to wear the school's colors - green and gold - to show their school spirit. The day before, on the bus, I overheard Steven White and another kid talking about how they were going to deliberately not wear any green or gold for "Color Day," an idea that struck me, at the time, as one of the most shocking but obvious things I had ever heard. Of course you don't wear certain colors just because everyone else is going to.

The next morning, when I told my mother I refused to wear any clothes that had green or gold in them, she yelled "One kid only wants green and gold clothes and doesn't have any!* The other one only has green and gold and won't wear them. You kids are making me crazy!" Why I had a wardrobe favoring those two colors remains a mystery to this day.

At school, it didn't take long to discover that I was one of maybe three kids not dressed in school colors. Even Steven White and the other rebel had conformed. I was treated like a combination of leper and pedophile the entire day, even by my teachers, who made a pointed out to the class that someone was not dressed in school colors. If I remember correctly, a couple of them were flabbergasted that I would do this on purpose.

Even though I don't like St. Patty's Day, I was happy to see that the water in the fountain outside the White House was dyed green today at Michelle Obama's request. Oh, Michelle, how I love you.




__________________________________________
*my sister Ann

Monday, March 16, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Twenty

The Seven Deadly Sins and The Punishments in Hell Awaiting Those Who Commit Them
according to Le Grant Calendrier des Bergiers, published in 1496

Anger: Dismembered alive



Envy: Immersed in frozen water



Greed: Boiled in oil



Gluttony: Force fed toads, rats and snakes



Lust: Smothered in fire and brimstone



Pride: Broken on a wheel



Sloth: Thrown into a snake pit

Sunday, March 15, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Nineteen

In the comments to yesterday's post, Iva asked:
...here is my question: is intelligent design completely incompatible with evolution? Is it not possible that there is a supreme intelligence behind the whole process of evolution?
I realize my Judeo-Christian roots are very evident, but I am asking the question in all sincerity. Are these ideas completely incompatible?


Yes, I would say intelligent design is incompatible with evolution. Remember that "intelligent design" is a specific theory that argues that because we can't find the connections between some odd disjunctions in evolution, it proves that existence must be the work of a designer. Evolution sees life on Earth as a continuum, one species arising from the changes in another over a period of millions of years. Intelligent design argues that a designer created some species spontaneously.

Your second question is different from your first: is it possible that the process of evolution is one of God's creations? This is similar to Deism, the Age of Enlightenment philosophy that stated that God created the universe, gave it laws by which to run, and now leaves His creation alone and doesn't interact with it. However, clues to God's existence can be found by studying the natural world, all of which brings us back to Darwin on the Galapagos Islands.

Darwin's wife was a believing Christian, and reportedly concerned that her husband's work would destroy religious faith. Darwin, in turn, was very sensitive to his wife's beliefs and discussed his theories with her extensively before publishing. Their's was literally a marriage of religion and science.

Since the publication of The Origin of the Species, people have had to reconcile their religious beliefs with Darwin's theories. Don't forget there was a scene in the NOVA special which showed two of the teachers who brought the suit against the school board with their church group. They talked about how offended they were to be called atheists simply because they believed in science.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin would also have been offended. He was a Jesuit priest who was also a paleontologist and he sought to reconcile the two. He believed that evolution has a goal (a design, if you will), which is for humans to use their ability to think as a way to grow spiritually and move towards higher consciousness, ultimately towards God. de Chardin did not see religious faith and evolution as incompatible, but as intertwined processes taking us to the same end.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Eighteen

Judgement Day: Intelligent Design on Trial

I just finished watching the NOVA program Judgement Day: Intelligent Design on Trial (entire program is available, in ten minute segments, here). The documentary is about the trial that resulted when members of the Dover, PA school board tried to have Intelligent Design included in science classes. Oh, Pennsylvania, my home state, you never disappoint.

Granted, I am a little biased, but what amazes me is the disingenuousness of those on the pro-intelligent design side. Even when all they propose is a small disclaimer to be read before teaching evolution ("this is not the only theory about life on Earth..."), they act as if they have no agenda and what they're doing is actually for the benefit of the students. Not surprising that two of them committed perjury during the trial.

My thought has always been that you should be able to teach intelligent design in schools, just not during science class because it is not a science. In fact, it is anti-science. As one lady states in the program "The fundamental problem with intelligent design is that you can't use it to explain the natural world. It's essentially a negative argument. It says, "Evolution doesn't work, therefore the designer did it. Evolution doesn't work, therefore we win by default....You can't build a science on a negative argument." It makes as much sense to teach during science as it would to teach it in math or gym class. So teach it when you teach Greek or Roman myths (do they still teach Greek and Roman mythology in schools?) Intelligent design has more in common with literature than it does with science.

This point was made better, and with more wit than I can manage, during the trial:

WITOLD "VIC" WALCZAK: So supernatural causation is not considered part of science?

KENNETH R. MILLER: Yeah. I hesitate to beg the patience of the Court with this, but being a Boston Red Sox fan, I can't resist it. One might say, for example, that the reason the Boston Red Sox were able to come back from three games down against the New York Yankees was because God was tired of George Steinbrenner and wanted to see the Red Sox win. In my part of the country, you'd be surprised how many people think that's a perfectly reasonable explanation for what happened last year. And you know what? It could be true, but it certainly wouldn't be science. It's not scientific, and it's certainly not something we can test.


One more comment: it took the judge a month to come up with his verdict?

Friday, March 13, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Seventeen

I was thinking about writing about the recent death of someone I met once, a friend of a friend, when I realized that this seems to be a recurring motif on this blog. I've already already written similar posts here and here and I never intended this to turn into John Hanlon's Rollicking Review of Death; if so, I would have named it that.

But there is an interest, not necessarily morbid and certainly not as intense as it was when I was a teenager, in death. Don't know if the source of my interest is something individual or part of my heritage. As I said to a friend today, "What's another word for an Irish family reunion? 'Funeral.'"

It's not far from there to think that after I die, my words, these words, on this blog, will be floating around somewhere. Anything on the internet is there forever and I like the notion that the thoughts of those long gone will still be accessible. Yes, it has been that way for anyone who left any kind of record, but the convenience of the internet means that parts of anyone's conscious will be preserved so that future generations can share it. In his novel Ubik, Philip K. Dick imagines a future in which the deceased are cryogenically frozen, and for a period of time until their brains completely decay, can be communicated with. Seems like a nice premonition of the internet.

So...Greetings to those from the future! Sorry about all the pollution we made and the fact that we ate all the shrimp - they were just too delicious.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Sixteen

The Coming Evangelical Collapse
An anti-Christian chapter in Western history is about to begin. But out of the ruins, a new vitality and integrity will rise.
By Michael Spencer

from the March 10, 2009 edition of Christian Science Monitor

Let me just editorialize here and say "1. You brought it on yourselves, and 2. So long and don't let the church doors hit on you on the butt on the way out."


Oneida, Ky. - We are on the verge – within 10 years – of a major collapse of evangelical Christianity. This breakdown will follow the deterioration of the mainline Protestant world and it will fundamentally alter the religious and cultural environment in the West.

Within two generations, evangelicalism will be a house deserted of half its occupants. (Between 25 and 35 percent of Americans today are Evangelicals.) In the "Protestant" 20th century, Evangelicals flourished. But they will soon be living in a very secular and religiously antagonistic 21st century.

This collapse will herald the arrival of an anti-Christian chapter of the post-Christian West. Intolerance of Christianity will rise to levels many of us have not believed possible in our lifetimes, and public policy will become hostile toward evangelical Christianity, seeing it as the opponent of the common good.

Millions of Evangelicals will quit. Thousands of ministries will end. Christian media will be reduced, if not eliminated. Many Christian schools will go into rapid decline. I'm convinced the grace and mission of God will reach to the ends of the earth. But the end of evangelicalism as we know it is close.

Why is this going to happen?

1. Evangelicals have identified their movement with the culture war and with political conservatism. This will prove to be a very costly mistake. Evangelicals will increasingly be seen as a threat to cultural progress. Public leaders will consider us bad for America, bad for education, bad for children, and bad for society.

The evangelical investment in moral, social, and political issues has depleted our resources and exposed our weaknesses. Being against gay marriage and being rhetorically pro-life will not make up for the fact that massive majorities of Evangelicals can't articulate the Gospel with any coherence. We fell for the trap ofbelieving in a cause more than a faith.

2. We Evangelicals have failed to pass on to our young people an orthodox form of faith that can take root and survive the secular onslaught. Ironically, the billions of dollars we've spent on youth ministers, Christian music, publishing, and media has produced a culture of young Christians who know next to nothing about their own faith except how they feel about it. Our young people have deep beliefs about the culture war, but do not know why they should obey scripture, the essentials of theology, or the experience of spiritual discipline and community. Coming generations of Christians are going to be monumentally ignorant and unprepared for culture-wide pressures.

3. There are three kinds of evangelical churches today: consumer-driven megachurches, dying churches, and new churches whose future is fragile. Denominations will shrink, even vanish, while fewer and fewer evangelical churches will survive and thrive.

4. Despite some very successful developments in the past 25 years, Christian education has not produced a product that can withstand the rising tide of secularism. Evangelicalism has used its educational system primarily to staff its own needs and talk to itself.

5. The confrontation between cultural secularism and the faith at the core of evangelical efforts to "do good" is rapidly approaching. We will soon see that the good Evangelicals want to do will be viewed as bad by so many, and much of that work will not be done. Look for ministries to take on a less and less distinctively Christian face in order to survive.

6. Even in areas where Evangelicals imagine themselves strong (like the Bible Belt), we will find a great inability to pass on to our children a vital evangelical confidence in the Bible and the importance of the faith.

7. The money will dry up.

What will be left?

•Expect evangelicalism to look more like the pragmatic, therapeutic, church-growth oriented megachurches that have defined success. Emphasis will shift from doctrine to relevance, motivation, and personal success – resulting in churches further compromised and weakened in their ability to pass on the faith.

•Two of the beneficiaries will be the Roman Catholic and Orthodox communions. Evangelicals have been entering these churches in recent decades and that trend will continue, with more efforts aimed at the "conversion" of Evangelicals to the Catholic and Orthodox traditions.

•A small band will work hard to rescue the movement from its demise through theological renewal. This is an attractive, innovative, and tireless community with outstanding media, publishing, and leadership development. Nonetheless, I believe the coming evangelical collapse will not result in a second reformation, though it may result in benefits for many churches and the beginnings of new churches.

•The emerging church will largely vanish from the evangelical landscape, becoming part of the small segment of progressive mainline Protestants that remain true to the liberal vision.

•Aggressively evangelistic fundamentalist churches will begin to disappear.

•Charismatic-Pentecostal Christianity will become the majority report in evangelicalism. Can this community withstand heresy, relativism, and confusion? To do so, it must make a priority of biblical authority, responsible leadership, and a reemergence of orthodoxy.

•Evangelicalism needs a "rescue mission" from the world Christian community. It is time for missionaries to come to America from Asia and Africa. Will they come? Will they be able to bring to our culture a more vital form of Christianity?

•Expect a fragmented response to the culture war. Some Evangelicals will work to create their own countercultures, rather than try to change the culture at large. Some will continue to see conservatism and Christianity through one lens and will engage the culture war much as before – a status quo the media will be all too happy to perpetuate. A significant number, however, may give up political engagement for a discipleship of deeper impact.

Is all of this a bad thing?

Evangelicalism doesn't need a bailout. Much of it needs a funeral. But what about what remains?

Is it a good thing that denominations are going to become largely irrelevant? Only if the networks that replace them are able to marshal resources, training, and vision to the mission field and into the planting and equipping of churches.

Is it a good thing that many marginal believers will depart? Possibly, if churches begin and continue the work of renewing serious church membership. We must change the conversation from the maintenance of traditional churches to developing new and culturally appropriate ones.

The ascendency of Charismatic-Pentecostal-influenced worship around the world can be a major positive for the evangelical movement if reformation can reach those churches and if it is joined with the calling, training, and mentoring of leaders. If American churches come under more of the influence of the movement of the Holy Spirit in Africa and Asia, this will be a good thing.

Will the evangelicalizing of Catholic and Orthodox communions be a good development? One can hope for greater unity and appreciation, but the history of these developments seems to be much more about a renewed vigor to "evangelize" Protestantism in the name of unity.

Will the coming collapse get Evangelicals past the pragmatism and shallowness that has brought about the loss of substance and power? Probably not. The purveyors of the evangelical circus will be in fine form, selling their wares as the promised solution to every church's problems. I expect the landscape of megachurch vacuity to be around for a very long time.

Will it shake lose the prosperity Gospel from its parasitical place on the evangelical body of Christ? Evidence from similar periods is not encouraging. American Christians seldom seem to be able to separate their theology from an overall idea of personal affluence and success.

The loss of their political clout may impel many Evangelicals to reconsider the wisdom of trying to create a "godly society." That doesn't mean they'll focus solely on saving souls, but the increasing concern will be how to keep secularism out of church, not stop it altogether. The integrity of the church as a countercultural movement with a message of "empire subversion" will increasingly replace a message of cultural and political entitlement.

Despite all of these challenges, it is impossible not to be hopeful. As one commenter has already said, "Christianity loves a crumbling empire."

We can rejoice that in the ruins, new forms of Christian vitality and ministry will be born. I expect to see a vital and growing house church movement. This cannot help but be good for an evangelicalism that has made buildings, numbers, and paid staff its drugs for half a century.

We need new evangelicalism that learns from the past and listens more carefully to what God says about being His people in the midst of a powerful, idolatrous culture.

I'm not a prophet. My view of evangelicalism is not authoritative or infallible. I am certainly wrong in some of these predictions. But is there anyone who is observing evangelicalism in these times who does not sense that the future of our movement holds many dangers and much potential?

• Michael Spencer is a writer and communicator living and working in a Christian community in Kentucky. He describes himself as "a postevangelical reformation Christian in search of a Jesus-shaped spirituality." This essay is adapted from a series on his blog, InternetMonk.com.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Fifteen

Our Wonderful Bodies!







The above images come from a schoolroom biology presentation on rollers that hangs next to my computer. I have no idea what parts of the body are supposed to be depicted, but it looks like biological functions as drawn by Bosch. I bought it a few years ago from a second hand store on Houston Street. I had seen it, loved it, but then proceeded to some art galleries in Soho and Chelsea. When I realized that nothing in the galleries was as fascinating as this biological presentation, I worried that I had missed my chance and couldn't get back to the shop fast enough.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Fourteen

In Today's Moron News, This Just In...

NY man claims NJ psychic defrauded him of $250,000
Mon Mar 9, 9:06 pm ET

MORRISTOWN, N.J. – A New York man is suing a New Jersey psychic, claiming she defrauded him of nearly $250,000 he paid her to craft a golden statue that was supposed to ward off negativity. Charles Silveira, 38, of Seaford, Long Island, claims he never received the statue.

On Monday, he filed suit in New Jersey Superior Court in Morristown seeking to recover the money from 32-year-old Ava Miller of Mendham. Silveira also wants Miller removed from a $700,000 home he bought for her last year.

The lawsuit claims that Silveira met Miller online in 2007, and that he made several large cash payments to her over a period of several months.

A telephone listed for Miller's Mendham address rang unanswered Monday night. Reached earlier Monday by the Daily Record of Morristown, she declined comment.

Monday, March 09, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Thirteen

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

So because I was a young man in the late 1980s who liked comics and thought he was smart, I went to see Watchmen this past weekend. For those who don’t know, Watchmen is based on a groundbreaking 12 issue comic book series that takes as its central thesis that if superheroes existed in the real world, they wouldn’t be able to effect any significant positive change because, being human, they would have emotional, psychological, sexual and political problems just like everyone else.

The movie isn’t the disaster that some film adaptations are, but its best moments come directly from the comic. The film has a ponderousness, a heaviness of tone, that the comic did not have. There is no pleasure in watching the movie, or rather, the only pleasure comes when it recalls favorite parts of the comic. But despite material that ranged from melancholy to nihilistic, reading the comic was always a pleasure. Much of this comes from the cleverness of writer Alan Moore’s words, but mostly this pleasure comes from watching how words interact, support, subvert or contradict the images with which they share a panel. Watchmen was, to use a word that would become a cliche a decade after its publication, "interactive" in a way unlike any other comic or media of its time. Loaded with repeating images and words, the reader had to make connections between scenes or bits of dialogue, like solving a puzzle. The driving plot was a murder mystery, and the reader’s gathering of clues and noticing things echoed what the characters were doing. Based on lurid pulps and pushing comic book stereotypes to the point of no return, it was fun: that’s why I loaned my issues and gave copies of the book to so many people. The movie, whatever its merits, is not a fun experience.

I’ve become more interested lately in how the human brain works, how it processes different kinds of information. What parts of the brain does music stimulate? Why do you feel different after two hours of reading as opposed to two hours of watching television? Does representational work make us think differently than abstract? I was once discussing this in a bar with a neurologist (really!) and he said that the popular “right brain/left brain” model was an oversimplification and inaccurate. So while I’d like to avoid being dualistic, there does seem to be a fundamental divide between how we “read” words versus images. This would make comics an important form to study, but most comics aren’t as conscious as Watchmen of the dance between words and pictures. As mentioned before, they vary between harmony, opposition, ironic comment, and surprising coincidence. You draw meaning from the words and pictures: sometimes in synthesis, but not always. It was, if not new, then at least a subtly different, way of thinking.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Twelve



It's my favorite scene from Mel Gibson's controversial The Passion of the Christ, a movie that, surprisingly, I liked, perhaps because I saw it in terms of the traditional passion play rather than anything contemporary. My favorite scene exists as its own little mystery. Jesus the carpenter shows His mother His new innovation. The Son of God has created the first kitchen dining set: a table and long legged chairs so that you no longer have to sit or kneel on the ground to eat. Mary slowly, cautiously sits in one of the chairs, as if it is going to collapse beneath her. Soon she is excited about Jesus' new idea, which eventually gets forgotten in the course of later events. On the way to His death, Christ is mocked as "The King of the Jews" not "Inventor of Really Tall Chairs."

It's a funny scene in and of itself and one of the few moments of levity in the film. I'm not entirely sure what it it trying to say, except perhaps that Jesus of Nazareth would have changed the world even if he hadn't be divine? Was saving humanity's lower backs as well as their souls part of His mission? A nice kitchen set is a gift from God? Or that perhaps certain ideas get lost in the sweep of historical events and because the world is not ready for them, only to re-emerge when the people are ready? But this last interpretation is close to Gnostic teaching. Is Gibson parodying Gnostic ideas, saying that forgotten or lost knowledge is no more significant than a comfy place to park your *ss?

Saturday, March 07, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Eleven



01:44 SPY: The Funny Years
Edited by Kurt Andersen, Graydon Carter, George Kalogerakis

My first book report this year fits in with the Days of Lent, given that those who worked at SPY magazine seemed motivated by the Deadly Sins of Pride and Envy.

I can remember searching for the first issue of Spy after reading an Associated Press article about a sharp new satiric magazine. It sounded like everything I was looking for. Unfortunately, I was looking in the wrong place: Wilkes-Barre, PA, to be exact, where I was living at the time. We might have gotten Associated Press articles, sure, but sophisticated “New York Monthlies?” No way.

As related in the combination memoir/anthology SPY: The Funny Years, I wasn’t alone on either count. People who lived in New York had trouble finding early issues, and there were others across the nation who were excited about a monthly satire magazine. The first issue I saw was April 1988, The “Nice” Issue. I picked it up at a stopover in Chicago while taking the train across the country and was quickly initiated. Things that hadn’t mattered to me (like cover boy Donald Trump) now did, once I learned of their inherent odiousness through SPY’s clever, nasty articles. The nastiness became more apparent (actually, inescapable) later, but what initially impressed me was how much fun the magazine was to read. The crazy charts, the articles in tiny print that ran alongside the margins, columns that gave the inside scoop about The New York Times or professional critics. There seemed to be so much in that issue, yet I didn’t feel sated after I had read, and re-read, everything it contained. Just the opposite, in fact.

And so it seemed with the issues that followed. Looking at the covers reproduced on The Funny Years’ endpapers, I can remember where I was when I first saw the 1988-89 issues. June ‘88, with Graham Chapman as a “coaster:” I flipped through it at Cody’s Books in Berkeley before buying. March ’89, with a smug Chevy Chase representing the Irony Epidemic: couldn’t wait for my break, kept flipping through the issue while at work. I didn’t have much money when I lived in California – I was on the macaroni and cheese diet most of the time – but I always bought SPY magazine. I can remember at the time thinking that, as good as the magazine was, it wasn’t quite “there” yet. It was a good magazine (very good, I suppose) but not great. The issues were getting better and better but it hadn’t peaked, which I looked forward to with anticipation.

That peak never really came. Looking back, you can choose a run of issues and say that it was the magazine at its best, but examine those issues and a sense of repetition, a formula, becomes apparent and annoying. I think this was one of the magazine’s fatal flaws. Magazines have a house style and a consistent tone, true, but SPY, after fairly quickly finding its voice, didn’t do anything but repeat, but with diminishing returns. Just as every young man eventually has an epiphany and realizes that every issue of Mad magazine is basically the same, so it was with SPY. The other fatal flaw was not just the repetition but also the tone itself. Being mean can be cathartic and liberating, for a while, but consistent meanness becomes tiresome, and as a tool for satire, ineffective because it eliminates point of view. If everything is corrupt, why should anyone care about the special loathsomeness of Donald Trump?

The memoir section of The Funny Years is obviously for fans of the magazine*. Its insights run along the lines of “we had fun – you shoulda been there!” The editors and writers come across as clever and sensible people who, you know, sat at their desks and worked. More interesting is how the magazine was always a shoestring operation given that each issue “seemed” rich in that 1980s kinda way. It’s disappointing that so little from the actual magazine is reprinted. Pages are reprinted in their entirety to give a sense of the interplay of graphics and text that was a hallmark of the magazine, but unfortunately, at a smaller than original size, which makes reading more of an effort. Even though I have all my old issues, I was disappointed that most of what’s reprinted are fragments rather than entire articles. There are pieces that justify the magazine’s reputation: I was amazed at how good the “Great Expectations” essay written by Kurt Andersen was. The quality of the writing, dense yet paced to zip along, is rarely found in magazines anymore. An article about “Yuppie Porn” (making and marketing mundane items like knives and telephones as luxury goods) makes the distinction: “…pornography – the objectification of bodies…[whereas] yuppie pornography – the objectification of objects.” You can substitute “materialism” for “yuppie pornography” but I think the idea of “objectification of objects” is just about perfect.



*Are there still fans of the magazine? I picked up my copy of this book for $2.99 at the bargain table at Borders. I can't imagine paying the list prices of $39.95.

Friday, March 06, 2009

40 Days Of Lent: Day Ten

There's an older man in our office lobby who recently had a stroke. He's surrounded by some younger businessmen respectfully gathered around him while he sits in a comfortable chair and talks. He speaks clearly though slowly, but because he takes his time, you can follow the pattern of his thoughts as he begins a sentence, veers off to make a dirty pun, which reminds him of something from his youth in Brooklyn, which he then relates to the ongoing current stock market panic. It's not much different from how other minds work, but because the stroke has slowed his thoughts to a speed at which he can express them and he's not being interrupted by those listening to him, I'm able to watch a slowed-down model of how consciousness works.

I don't want it to end, especially since he what he says is as interesting as how he says it, but his meeting is starting so now he must take baby steps into our conference room and close the door.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

40 Days Of Lent: Day Nine

The Dr. Seuss Bible

I was going to write about LSD today, but then I read on my friend Carol's blog that Monday was Dr. Seuss' 105th birthday. So, in sort of honor of Dr. Seuss, one of my favorite bit of parody: The Dr. Seuss Bible by The Kids In The Hall.

One day God said
"This is what I will do
I'll send down my Son
I'll send him to you
To clear up this humpity
Bumpity hulabaloo

"His name will be Christ
And he'll never wear shoes
And his pals will all call Him
the King of the Jews!"

He didn't come in a plane
He didn't come in a jeep
He didn't come in the pouch
Of a high jumping voveep

He rode on the back of a black sasatoo
Which is the blackiest creature
You ever could view

He rode to Jerusalem
Home of the grumpity Jews
Where false prophets are worshiped
Some even in two's

There was Murrary Von Mer
And Genghis Vo Vooze
The one you could worship
By taking a snooze

Christ spoke from a mound
Which is a pile of ground
And people gathered around
Without making a sound
And thus he spake

"Sin in socks
Socks full of sin
How do we quiet this
Jehoviadin din?

"Do unto others as
They do unto you"
That includes you,
Young Timothy Foo

One pharisee said to another he knew
"What do we do with this upitty jew?"
"We can wash him in wine
And make him all clean
And into Sam Zittle's
Crucifixion Machine"

Twirl the gawhril
And relase the gavlease
And in go the nails
As fast as you please!

And it is said that He
Said as he bled:

"Forgive them Father
For they know not what they do

"For they walk through this life
In toe crampity shoes."

Do you?

Amen.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

40 Days Of Lent: Day Eight

Bad Deeds

Below is an article from today's New York Times about debt collectors manipulating the next of kin to pay their deceased family member's debts. Legally, you are not responsible for the debts of a deceased loved one; hence, the heinous manipulation. Originally, I was going to include my mortified reactions, but then I found that all I was doing was typing "Oh my God" and "there's got to be a special circle in Hell" and "AAAAAAAAAAgh!" over and over.

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You’re Dead? That Won’t Stop the Debt Collector
By DAVID STREITFELD

MINNEAPOLIS — The banks need another bailout and countless homeowners cannot handle their mortgage payments, but one group is paying its bills: the dead.

Dozens of specially trained agents work on the third floor of DCM Services here, calling up the dear departed’s next of kin and kindly asking if they want to settle the balance on a credit card or bank loan, or perhaps make that final utility bill or cellphone payment.

The people on the other end of the line often have no legal obligation to assume the debt of a spouse, sibling or parent. But they take responsibility for it anyway.

“I am out of work now, to be honest with you, and money is very tight for us,” one man declared on a recent phone call after he was apprised of his late mother-in-law’s $280 credit card bill. He promised to pay $15 a month.

Dead people are the newest frontier in debt collecting, and one of the healthiest parts of the industry. Those who dun the living say that people are so scared and so broke it is difficult to get them to cough up even token payments.

Collecting from the dead, however, is expanding. Improved database technology is making it easier to discover when estates are opened in the country’s 3,000 probate courts, giving collectors an opportunity to file timely claims. But if there is no formal estate and thus nothing to file against, the human touch comes into play.

New hires at DCM train for three weeks in what the company calls “empathic active listening,” which mixes the comforting air of a funeral director with the nonjudgmental tones of a friend. The new employees learn to use such anger-deflecting phrases as “If I hear you correctly, you’d like...”

“You get to be the person who cares,” the training manager, Autumn Boomgaarden, told a class of four new hires.

For some relatives, paying is pragmatic. The law varies from state to state, but generally survivors are not required to pay a dead relative’s bills from their own assets. In theory, however, collection agencies could go after any property inherited from the deceased.

But sentiment also plays a large role, the agencies say. Some relatives are loyal to the credit card or bank in question. Some feel a strong sense of morality, that all debts should be paid. Most of all, people feel they are honoring the wishes of their loved ones.

“In times of illness and death, the hierarchy of debts is adjusted,” said Michael Ginsberg of Kaulkin Ginsberg, a consulting company to the debt collection industry. “We do our best to make sure our doctor is paid, because we might need him again. And we want the dead to rest easy, knowing their obligations are taken care of.”

Finally, of course, some of those who pay a dead relative’s debts are unaware they may have no legal obligation.

Scott Weltman of Weltman, Weinberg & Reis, a Cleveland law firm that performs deceased collections, says that if family members ask, “we definitely tell them” they have no legal obligation to pay. “But is it disclosed upfront — ‘Mr. Smith, you definitely don’t owe the money’? It’s not that blunt.”

DCM Services, which began in 1999 as a law firm, recently acquired clients in banking, automobile finance, retailing, telecommunications and health care; DCM says its contracts preclude it from naming them.

The companies “want to protect their brand,” said DCM’s chief executive, Steven Farsht. Despite the delicacy of such collections, he says his 180-employee firm is providing a service to the economy. “The financial services industry is under a tremendous amount of pressure, and every dollar we collect improves their profitability,” he said.

To listen to even a small sample of DCM’s calls — executives played tapes of 10 of them for a reporter, electronically edited to remove all names — is to reveal the wages of misery, right down to the penny.

A man has left credit card debt of $26,693.77, the legacy of a battle with cancer. A widow says her husband “had no money. He pretty much just had debt.” Asked about an outstanding account of $1,084.86, a woman says the deceased had no property beyond “some tools in the garage” and an 18-year-old Dodge.

Not everyone has the temperament to make such calls. About half of DCM’s hires do not make it past the first 90 days. For those who survive, many tools help them deal with stress: yoga classes and foosball tables, a rotating assortment of free snacks as well as full-scale lunches twice a month. A masseuse comes in regularly to work on their heads and necks.

Brenda Edwards, one of DCM’s top collectors, spoke with a woman in New Jersey about her mother’s $544.96 credit card bill.

“She had no will, no finances, nothing,” the daughter said. “Nothing went to probate.” The $200 in the checking account was used for funeral expenses. But the woman also said the family “filed a form with the county,” indicating that perhaps there was a legal estate after all.

“Is anyone in the family in a position to pay this?” Ms. Edwards asked, adding: “I’m not telling you it needs to be paid at all.”

The woman reached a decision. “I will talk to my brothers and sisters and we will pay this,” she said.

Ms. Edwards has a girlish voice that sounds younger than her 29 years. “If you plant a seed and leave on a good note, they’ll call back and pay it,” she said.

DCM started a Web site called MyWayForward.com to provide the bereaved with information, tools and, some day, products. “We will never sell death. But it’s O.K. to provide things that could be helpful to the survivor,” Mr. Farsht said. Death will be the end of one customer relationship but the beginning of another.

Some survivors are surprised, and a few are shocked, that they are hearing from a collector.

Eric Frenchman, an online consultant, said a DCM agent inquired about his late father’s $50 Discover card balance before the bill was even due. Since Mr. Frenchman had been planning to pay it anyway, he emerged from the experience vowing never to get a Discover card himself.

The major deceased-debt firms say such experiences are rare. Adam Cohen, chief executive of Phillips & Cohen Associates of Westampton, N.J., said his team of 300 collectors “are all trained in the five stages of grief.”

If a relative is more focused on denial or anger instead of, say, bargaining, the collector offers to transfer him to the human resources company Ceridian LifeWorks, where “master’s level grief counselors” are standing by. After a week, the relative is contacted again.

DCM executives say some of the survivors not only gladly pay but write appreciative notes. They offered up a stack, with the names deleted, as proof.

One widow wrote that a collector “was so nice to me, even when I could only pay $5 a month a few times.” Saying that money was “so tight” after her husband died, she added: “It was very hard for me, and to get a job at my age. Thank you.”

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

40 Days of Lent: Day Seven

Good Deeds

I'm stuck late at work tonight, helping to straighten out my boss' vacation plans, which begin, appropriately enough, on Friday the 13th of this month. I'm thinking about karma, Islam's good deeds, Christian charity, and, of course, being a martyr.